Atten: All Staff

Communications Update - New Mobiles

Please find below the instructions for the companies’ new mobile communications systems. All essential personnel will be issued with feature packed highly regarded Nokia 0000.1 handset as part of our ever evolving communications package for staff in the field. Communications from office based staff to the operatives in the field will now need to take place using one of the new ‘Communications Ports’ one will be placed in each department.

As part of accounts relentless budget revolutions these new devices have been obtained with no call charges and minimum line rental. It is however the operative’s responsibility to use this new technology with responsibility ensuring the line is free of obstruction to insure reliable communication.

It is essential that when using the new communications facilities whether in the office or out on site that the operators speak both clearly and concisely. It would appear there are some minor teething troubles for example if the operative does not make sure there line it well maintained detrimental effects have been identified with reception. Please endeavor to ensure that your line is tort and obstacle free, this can be easily achieved by avoiding large structures, foliage and wildlife. We understand that there maybe some difficulty for those members of the team who are currently working abroad, the company however feels that the initial complications will be worth the long term benefit that the new devices will deliver.

We have also installed hands free kits in all pool cars to comply with new government regulations. Please place your device in the receptacle to produce hands free calling capabilities.

Photograph 1.1 To Illustrate the new in car hands free equipment.

Photograph 2.2 Example 1 of the versatility of the Nokia 0000.1 (In live communications with colleague in photograph 2.2)

Photograph 2.2 Talk Anywhere

Photograph 2.3 Off Mode

We are also developing other revolutionary communications methods in dealing with our data communication. As the new Nokia 0000.1 appears to be rather slow on data uploads/downloads, we in conjunction with Bob Gates have developed a new system on which to access crucial documents. Bob’s communication centre is based in Tow Law allotments has the ability to send packets of data international at far higher speeds than our current internet service provider and contracted courier. In some cases messages can be sent from the field and arrive at HQ within 3 days, beating our current next day delivery service by 48hours! All operatives will be supplied with the new system ‘Pigeon 1.1 XP’ and 3 kilos of grain. It would be much appreciated if the system could be housed within the boot of company pool cars as it can have a damaging affect on the upholstery.

I am sure you will agree that all these technical innovations will drive us in to a new era of communication and help to forge the company into a streamlined force in the industry.

Rgds

The Management